My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
only if we run a train.
done.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
