69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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