why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
