do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
