last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
