he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
