Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
