Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
