I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I DEMAND FORESKIN
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
