i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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