He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
