I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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