I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
