Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
