suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sorry about my life...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
