marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
accomplished twins. life is a go
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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