Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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