That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
