with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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