Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
