Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
