after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
