Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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