I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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