Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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