Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
