I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
