ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
