Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
