I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
