we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When are your genitals available?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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