my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
