My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
