the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
