So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
