She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
