Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
