Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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