I seem to have left my pride at pride
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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