I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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