This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
