Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
