Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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