I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
