i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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