Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
