also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
