hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize