Sry I called you an 8
We're facebook friends in real life
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
