the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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