i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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