I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
