The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
