her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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