i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
