i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
