And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
