come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
