My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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